Monday Wake Up

Monday mornings are generally rough. I wish I could be one of those people who wake up ready to start the day and the week and have tons of gusto for life and living but… I am not. I wonder if that’s something one can learn. I attended a wedding this past weekend that was absolutely amazing, as weddings generally are, but this one felt more special than other weddings I’ve attended in the past. It’s the first wedding I’ve been invited to that my parents have not, and the first one of friends that are of similar age to me.

I was expecting beauty, since both bride and groom have interests and career in the aesthetic and have an eye for design – the wedding was held in an industrial warehouse that’s been turned into an art gallery and studio space, and the groom is a florist and a landscape architect. So of course the wedding was going to look beautiful, but I realized while driving home that all that visual beauty was just an added bonus and afterthought to the loveliness and the beauty of the wedding itself and what it stood for. The entire thing was just so true to the couple and their relationship, and as much a celebration of the family and friends that had supported and helped bring them to where they were today as it was a celebration of the new husband and wife.

I’ve always envied this couple’s ability to live what I tend to call a “charmed life,” where everything looks fun and pretty and happy – an Instagram-ready life. Except when it happens on Instagram, it’s easy to dismiss because it’s just social media and social media lies anyways, right? But knowing this couple in real life and knowing that even in hardships they are grounded in Christ and determined to seek out the beauty and good in each situation – it’s hard not to be jealous and hard not to want that for myself.

I think I have the tendency to think that “seeing beauty in everything” means curating my life carefully, pruning out ugliness and hardness by just not acknowledging it. But that just seems silly and unsustainable and unrealistic. On the other hand, it’s so easy to fixate on the ugliness in life. Example: this morning, when my commute was filled with snorers, hyena-laughers, runny noses and plugged ears (last two my own).

And I remembered how happy I was this past weekend and was disappointed in myself that I couldn’t carry it over to this morning.

Past this point, I have incomplete thoughts that still need to be worked out and I can sense that this post can too quickly slide into Christian-ese and truths that sometimes have a hard time finding reality in my life, so I’ll just stop here now and get to work.